the madness that binds us, star wars fan fiction

Chapter 12
“Desperation”

 

No matter how hard I try to focus on anything, all my mind can settle on is that alluring spark that burned in Rey’s eyes when I saw her last. The light that flickered into life when we watched each other reach for the other’s hand. A beautiful beacon calling me home.

As soon as I felt her touch, I never wanted to go back to the life I ‘d been living before. When her hand grasped mine, I felt fire. Everywhere. Waves of energy engulfed me. She and I were spinning together in space, connected only by our hands. The only contact I’ve had with her in such a tender, intimate way. I want more.

I want more of her.

She is the sensation in my fingertips, and the voice in my lungs. She is every word flowing from my lips and everything I want to touch.

We are one in soul. She is me and I am she.

That connection of our skin can’t be the only time we feel such fire. I have finally been brought to life. I refuse to die now.

I turn around and head to where the ships are located on this dreadful destroyer.

I make long strides, determined to get there undetected. No one must know. I don’t even know where she is, but I must reach her. That much I do know. I felt it in our touch. We need to see each other now. We are on each other’s side. No matter what happens, it’s us. It’s always been us. The two of us. Side by side.

A sound booms outside the ship. I halt in my tracks and walk over to a nearby window. I see star ships blasting beams on both sides. We’re in the midst of a war and all I can think about is seeing her again. Maybe that’s the answer. Maybe she is the only thing that makes sense right now. Maybe she is the answer.

I look out and touch the glass. Sparks fill me as I remember. My eyes close and I can see her in front of me, looking at me as if no one else could help her. No one else understood her. I smell the dampness of the rain surrounding her. It’s odd that I can’t see what’s around her, but I can smell and feel everything. Maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. Her hair was wet, so I knew it was raining. I could see the drops trickling off the chocolate-brown of her hair, drizzling onto her bare shoulders. The blanket falling to her hips, half dry and not capable of much warmth.

I need to see her again. Next to me–in the flesh this time. I want to feel my arms providing a home for her, wrapping away the darkness. I ache to feel her against me, every breath she releases onto my skin covering me in goosebumps and causing me to hold on even tighter.

I open my eyes. Emptiness hits me like a blast to my chest.

Why can’t it be simple? Why can’t we just run away and never look back? It’s just us, remember? It will always only be us. We only need the two of us. That’s all.

That’s all I need. But…

She isn’t here, and I can’t feel her. I haven’t been able to feel her since we connected last, touching each other in body and soul. The sensation of the galaxy held between our fingertips.

A searing pain cuts through my torso. I haven’t felt her at all. It’s been hours and I haven’t felt so much as a flicker. My stomach squeezes inside me as my mind races to the worst possible conclusion. Is she okay? What if she’s hurt?

I rush towards the escape pods and tie fighters. I don’t know what my plan is, but I can’t stay here. Something is calling me to leave. I need to find Rey. She’s calling me to come to her. That’s the only thing that makes sense right now. I can’t feel her, but I can’t stop thinking about those escape pods. I’m almost there when something stops me. A shooting star coming right for me. I walk towards the glass, looking out into the endless black sea of stars and far-off solar systems.

The star is approaching at a rapid pace, and it is only then when I realize it isn’t a star at all.

It’s Rey, and she’s coming for me.

Read the rest of the chapters of ‘The Madness that Binds Us’ here.