the madness that binds us, star wars fan fiction

Chapter 19
“The Rey to His Sun”

The electricity fizzing between our blended lips is greater than I could have ever imagined. The softness of his mouth, the taste of him, the way it felt for his fingers to graze my skin—I’d never felt like bursting before. Not until now. I could explode into a thousand stars from this feeling. I would be happy, too, as long as we could stay like this forever. Together. Moon and Star. The Rey to his Sun, beaming light from him—the light that I know so desperately wants to emerge from the depths of his heart. He’s come so far, and it’s not over yet. No. Our story is only beginning.

When our lips stop moving, when our kissing slows, our faces moving ever so slightly apart—just enough where we can look into each other’s eyes—Ben smiles. Really smiles, in a way I have never seen anyone smile before. He looks so handsome. My insides melt. I could scream. Butterflies flutter rapidly against every corner of my being.

I smile back and lunge at him, my arms wrapping around him, my fingers interlacing at the nape of his neck. His big brown eyes look down at me as his smile fades. He looks like he’s searching me. For what, I wonder? What’s going on in that mind of his?

Before I can ask him what’s going on, he breaks the silence himself. “I want you with me, Rey. Always. Never leave my side.”

A smile creeps onto my face, dimpling my cheeks. “Of course,” I whisper, inching my face closer, “I want that, too. I knew this would happen…” My giddiness gives way to giggles. I cup my mouth and stifle a louder snicker of excitement. I walk backwards and can see all of him now—his slightly torn clothes and messy hair from battling, his mouth a little redder than normal.

When he doesn’t return my smile, I brush it off as him being unused to having someone love him and be pleased with him. I walk towards the floating image Snoke had placed before us. It displays the Resistance’s fleet slowly being picked off one ship at a time.

“The fleet!” I say, pointing to the image a few feet behind me, “We still have time to save them! Come on, let’s go!”

He doesn’t move.

My smile fades.

“Ben?”

His face is as stoic as always as he looks back at me.

Fear wrenches its way into my gut.

“Ben—the fleet…”

“Let them die, Rey.” His voice booms, throwing bombs down my ears and into my knotted stomach.

“What?” I say, the word barely crawling its way from my lips.

“It’s time to let the past die,” he begins to say, his eyes steady but his mouth tight and struggling to appear strong and emotionless. He continues, pointing to the fleet, “This was never our war.” Walking slowly towards me, he says, “Why must we continue to fight? Light versus Dark? Let them war between themselves and it will all be over. We can bring an end to the Jedi and Sith. We can rule the galaxy together. You and me. A new way, away from everything that has brought so much war to all of us. So much death and destruction. Join me.” He lifts out his gloved hand. It stands there as a beacon, calling me to a new life.

A new life I don’t want to live. I can’t. I have to save my friends. I have to save the Resistance. I can’t stand by while others suffer and die, whether the war is mine or not.

Tears spill down my cheeks. “Don’t do this, Ben,” I whimper, “Please don’t do this.”

Ben’s face turns to frustration and panic, his hand is still outstretched to me. “You’re still holding on!” he shouts. “Let go!”

My sobbing grows louder and my shoulders quake. I can’t believe this. How could I be so stupid?

No. I think to myself, sniffing and standing tall, This isn’t the end. It can’t be.

Still, nothing can stop the tears rolling down my face.

“Do you want to know the truth about your parents?” he asks, walking even closer. Inches away from me now, he waits for my reply. I don’t give him one, so he continues, “Maybe you already know. Do you? I think you’ve always known. You’ve just kept it buried within yourself, hidden far away. Let it go, Rey. Let it go. You know the truth! Say it!”

“They were nobody,” I say, trying to bite back my sobs.

“They were filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money.” His gaze stays with me. My eyes can barely stay open, but I can’t break his stare. “They’re dead somewhere in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story, not really. They were nobody. You are nobody.” He shakes his head adamantly and adds, “but not to me.”

My hurt aches when he says these words. Just when I think I’ve cried out every last ounce of moisture within me, more tears pour down into my hands.

His hand is held out to me once more. “Please,” he says, offering me his hand. I look at him, my arms perfectly still by my sides now. My lips shudder uncontrollably. His eyes turn wet and bloodshot as he whimpers one more time. “Please.”

I lift up my hand, and before I can think through what I’m going to do next, I place my hand in his.

 

Find each chapter of ‘The Madness that Binds Us’ here.

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