Oh ho, I’ve done it this time. I’ve really stumbled onto something great, I can tell. “Return to Horror High” looks like the kind of cheese that comes compressed in a can, and friends? I am here for it. The trailer suggests that someone bought a mask from a dollar store-the plain, white kind that…
Before we enter the shaming portion of our program, let’s all remember – and fondly -that I did guarantee that Linda Blair would be the final girl of Hell Night. Call it a spoiler if you must, friends, for a 39 year old movie (were you REALLY going to watch it?) but since my victories…
I have recently come into possession of some pretty sweet loot from Fun.com. If you find yourself cocking your eyebrow a hair at a name so precisely on the nose, fret not, I did as well. But in the name of a year of living dangerously, I came in prepared to give them a fair…
I made a mistake. Mea culpa and all that, and I’m ready to own it. I forgot that the unfortunate impact of the “side” aspect of “side hustle” is that sometimes things bustle in and you get off track. This, dear friends, was never my intention, but the summer reached chaotic heights, and time just…
Far be it for me to challenge the wisdom of old and trite clichés. Surely, if we have been told not to judge a book by its cover, then judge it by its cover we should not. But guys. The Transfiguration, a movie I selected based solely on its poster, looks really good. Who knows,…
I have, in my life, been wrong with a gusto and frequency unmatched in modern memory. It’s a sad talent to have, I’ll admit that readily, but I’ve learned to lean into it. If my first instinct is to turn right, you can bet your sweet donk I’m going to turn left, and I’ll get…
Welp. I’ve truly done it this time. Since the inception of this fun little idea of mine – still relatively infant, if you ask me – I’ve seen trailers that have inspired varying levels of enthusiasm, but few that have left me as completely and utterly baffled as The Vault of Horror. I’m a little…
Great news, everybody, I owe me a beer! Cruel fate and necessity dictates that I establish whether this is a triumphant, tears of my enemies kind of beer, or a good old fashioned shame beer. My friends, I’m sad to report, it is the latter. That my track record in guessing the plots of the…
Once more into the breach, dear friends, only this time the movie might be amazing. This week, I watched the trailer for Apostle, about which a word of clarification might be warranted, for anyone potentially following along at home. Under no circumstances should an article be attached to this title. It is but one word….
I re-learned a few things this week, of varying degrees of utility and relevance. Paramount, perhaps, in my re-education, is the fact that a holiday weekend donks up my schedule to high heaven, so unfortunately, my greatly anticipated viewing of Castle Freak got wildly eclipsed by Fourth of July merriment (if you guessed that I…
Hi, my name is Kelly and you may remember me from such bad ideas as “what is Knife+Heart about, based solely on the trailer?”, and “oh, not that.” This week, I’ve watched the trailer for Castle Freak, a movie which reminded me several times of the fact that it was made by Stuart Gordon, a…
And I was right. But also wrong. Nothing ever truly goes without saying, so loudly, emphatically and with all the gusto I can summon on a Thursday afternoon, allow me to shout “spoilers” to the ether, as one must, if they intend to discuss with any credibility, the finer points of a film, and more…
Hi, my name is Kelly and I like to watch movies. Often of the horror persuasion, but I am open to the entire spectrum of genre living. If there is one thing I enjoy more deeply than a good film (or a bad film, let’s not be hasty) it’s spending a long, fruitless evening, waffling…
The newest episode of What We Do in the Shadows had an impossible task from the word “newest-episode-of-What-We-Do-in-the-Shadows” (I know it’s not one word, let’s not get precious!). The last episode was sublime. Beyond the guest stars, it incorporated threads that were traced back to earlier episodes, and felt narratively important. There was virtually no…
It will be difficult to discuss much about the most recent episode of What We Do in the Shadows beyond the absolute, sterling brilliance of the guest stars. The good news is that the plot is relatively streamlined to best showcase those guest stars. The bad news is none bad news. It’s all good news….