‘Game of Thrones’ S5 E5 Recap: Barbecue at Dany’s!

We saw another new locale in the latest Game of Thrones episode, “Kill the Boy.” But unlike what the title would suggest, none of our characters were directly killed in this chapter. Instead we spent good blocks of time developing multiple storylines. Plus, it was a rare instance where we didn’t visit King’s Landing. Braavos and Dorne were also missing in action. So let’s get to this recap, which is as ripe as Reek on a hot summer day.

Sansa Reeks

Up in the North, Brienne and Podrick check into a quaint little inn with a lovely view of Winterfell. When a servant walks in, Brienne gets him nostalgic for Ned and the Starks before asking him to get a message to Sansa. Across the way in the castle, Ramsay is having a naked argument with Myranda. She’s jealous about her (kind of) boyfriend marrying Sansa. Apparently lady Stark is the talk of the town on Game of Thrones today. Let’s see what she’s up to.

Sansa’s maid knocks on her door and gives her the message that if she is in danger, light a candle in the tallest tower window and help will come. That’s practical. I’m being attacked. Just give me five minutes to hike up the tower and ask for help! It may take longer since I left my stair climbing shoes in the Eyrie. Well anyway, Myranda is trying to cause trouble. So she leads Sansa to the kennels where Theon/Reek is chilling. Sansa still thinks he killed Bran and Rickon, so she’s not a fan. At dinner, Ramsay chews with his mouth open again. The horror! But beyond that, he has Reek apologize to Sansa for killing her brothers. Sansa even asks Ramsay why he’s doing this. Instead she should have asked why is every scene that he is in so slow and frustrating to watch. Just get to the point. It also turns out that Roose Bolton’s wife Walda is pregnant. Ramsay is peeved since this may weaken his claim. But more importantly, Stannis’ impending march on Winterfell may weaken Ramsay’s head’s claim to his shoulders.

Jon Ruffles Some Crow Feathers

At Castle Black, where Stannis currently hangs his sword, we get some interesting character interaction. Maester Aemon voices his concern for Daenerys to Sam. He wishes he could help her. Then Jon shows up asking for Maester Aemon’s advice. Before he even gives the details, Aemon tells Jon to “Kill the boy, and let the man be born.” So that’s where the episode title comes from. What he means is that Jon must do what he thinks is right. So he goes to negotiate with Tormund Giantsbane. Their trade looks something like this. The wildlings would receive safe passage to South of the Wall and some lands to settle in return for a fighting alliance with the Night’s Watch and Tormund’s Pokemon cards. Tormund agrees, but insists Jon has to come with him to get the wildlings in order to ensure their safety. (That Pokemon card aspect of the deal was embellished for dramatic effect.) So with the general plan in place, Jon tells the Crows and they’re not happy.

Sam and Gilly are in the library when Stannis comes knocking. He asks about Sam’s encounter with the White Walker. This was a pretty standard Game of Thrones conversation, but the dynamic between these two was so interesting to watch. Sam tells Stannis about how the dragonglass was the key. And wouldn’t you know it, Stannis lives at Dragonstone, which has tons of dragonglass. Interesting… Very interesting… Stannis tells Davos that it’s time to hit the road. So the whole crew begins their march on the North. For the directionally impaired, the North is actually south of where they currently are.

Ser Jorah’s 99 Problems

In Meereen, it’s confirmed that Ser Barristan is in fact dead after last week’s big clash with the Sons of the Harpy. Grey Worm is still kicking though. Missandei is watching over him in his sick bed. When ol’ Wormy wakes up he reveals that he was afraid during the fight that he would never see Missandei again. Heartthrob wasn’t listed in the Unsullied job description. In the pyramid, Daenerys has the family leaders of Meereen rounded up, including Hizdahr zo Loraq. She brings them on a field trip to meet her dragons. They proceed to charbroil and eat one of the leaders. Later, Dany meets with Hizdahr and tells him she was wrong to disregard tradition. So in turn she will reopen the fighting pits to free men and, oh by the way, she is going to marry Hizdahr. When comparing this to her first marriage, something tells me she’s going to be the Khal Drogo in this situation.

In his kidnapping boat, Ser Jorah leads Tyrion through the ruins of Valyria. It’s the first time we’ve seen the ancient city where the Targaryens and dragons once roamed. So it’s fitting that this is the first time Tyrion sees a dragon as Drogon flies overhead. But the reception from the locals is a bit… rocky. As they look up at the beast, stone men attack them. Stone men are people turned wild by the disease greyscale. Eventually, after much stress, Jorah fights them off and rescues Tyrion from drowning. Later, as Jorah hikes off to get some firewood, he realizes that he has been infected with greyscale. Let’s not jump to conclusions. They don’t bathe very often on this show. Maybe he just has some bad eczema.

I picture him transforming into The Thing from Fantastic 4 and being a tough, yet sensitive, big rocky dude. But I’m told that’s not how this disease works. So add another issue to the rough few months Ser Jorah Mormont has been dealing with. He was a criminal in Westeros. He’s been thrown out by Dany. And now he has a terrible disease. At least he has Tyrion with him, who may or may not be experiencing the symptoms of alcohol withdrawal at this point. And you thought you were having a bad day.